hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
