Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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