doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
