I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
