He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
