how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
