the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
