Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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