I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
