Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We have started to decorate penises.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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