I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
