i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
