is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
