What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
