you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
