I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
