i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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