So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
