i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
