And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
