I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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