just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
