He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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