Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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