The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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