Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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