We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
