bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
