I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
