The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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