Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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