what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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