I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
