I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
