I just made out with a guy for $7.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
