people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
