I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
