shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
