he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
