She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
