I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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