He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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