I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
