Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
