i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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