we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
