butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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