Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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