absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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