i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
