i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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