taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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