dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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