drinking out of a sandbucket again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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