So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
