Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
